Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Snow bootz, minus the snow

So today I set my alarm for the same time I do every morning that's not a Pilates morning: 6:42. My alarm goes off and then I hit snooze twice and get up at 7. I leave the house by 7:35 and get to work by 8.

That's when everything runs smoothly. This morning the first alarm went off, I'm sure, but I don't remember it. I woke up and fell immediately back to sleep, then proceeded to have a bizarre dream in which I got up, but I lived in an apartment somewhere, probs NYC, and I was 30 minutes late. I kept trying to put in my contacts but they kept drying up and shriveling before I could get them to mah eyeballs. So I finally gave up and decided to wear my glasses to work.

The next thing I remember is that my alarm went off... at 7:10. WTF. So I got up, already 10 minutes late. I decided to forgo contacts, based on this awful premonition I dreamed, and wear my glasses to work. Then I looked out the window and the grass was white. Just frost, not snow, unforch. But I could tell it was fa-fa-freezing outside so I decided to wear these:

Snow bootz.
They are chocolate brown snow boots I got on sale a few weeks ago at DSW. I actually bought them for NYC; I tested them out in D.C. last week and they were super warm and comfy, so go me. I'm wearing them with black leggings and a grey sweater dress. I am so comfortable it's ridiculous. Also I am wearing my glasses, which automatically makes me feel less stressed out, because normally when I wear them it basically means I'm taking a day off from life. So wearing them to work = chizillin in mah cube.

Also I've had Britney Spears' "Circus" stuck in my head all. day. long. Actually it just switched to "Womanizer." Buh whatevz they're both good.

Until next time, majorly yours.

Saturday, November 22, 2008


A break in your usual fashion postings for a quick message: HOTTY TODDY.

I wrote a post about a year go detailing my disdain for LSU football and its fans. This year, I feel nothing short of victorious. That is all.

Until next time, majorly yours.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

2n1 = awesome

My life has very few guarantees right now. I'm not guaranteed a job at the end of my internship (ha! i lolz at the notion). I'm not guaranteed a suitable place to live once I get to New York. (Oh, I bought my ticket bee tee dubz. I fly out Dec. 30!) If we're being honest, none of us are really guaranteed anything. Life is completely unpredictable. Skerry.

But there is at least one thing I can guarantee that I will always love: anything that is actually two things in one. I have always loved and will continue to love: reversible things, mittens that double as gloves, rain jackets that become wool coats when you remove the lining, so on and so forth. I have a reversible skirt from the Gap that I got like three years ago, and it's still going strong.

I have a couple of fairly recent purchases that I love as well. I can has 2n1 nao plz.

I bought these Nine West boots last weekend and I. LOVE. THEM. Anyone who knows me knows that I hate wedge heels. Hates them. But for some reason I put these shoes on my feet and immediately fell in love. The best thing about them? They can also look like this. I am definitely more prone to wearing them scrunched down with leggings, but I love that I have the option of wearing them higher up if I want to. Loves it.

I got this bag in August, but I think it's multi-seasonal. Gray on the outside, yellow on the inside. Aaand it was cheap. I got it at Aldo so you know it's pleather. Whatevz I don't care, I pretty much got what I paid for because now it's starting to come apart at the handles as a result of my carrying way too much ish in it. And even if you don't want to flip it inside out, the flash of yellow is great to brighten up an otherwise dark outfit.

OK, it's almost time for The Office so I need ta cuddle into my bed and get ready. Hope y'all are enjoying the cold weather as much as I am. Mmmm blankets and sweaters and coats and hot beverages. Yes plz.

Until next time, majorly yours.

Sunday, November 9, 2008

Timbaland > Timberlands

I went shoe shopping this weekend. Oh, don't be so shocked. I know my love for shoes has been tastefully understated thus far, but really, I luv shoez.

I went looking for boots. Booties, ankle boots, shrug boots, calf boots--they were all on my list. I walked up and down the boot aisles at a huge shoe store that shall remain unnamed, and I saw all kinds of boots: black riding boots, black platform boots with spiky heels, brown slouch boots, black booties. It was boot heaven. Except for these, which somehow snuck past the guy (or lady!) guarding the heavenly gates. They kind of just defy explanation:

From the front, it seems harmless enough. (twss)

From the side, a scary surprise. (twss?)

I'm sure you can see from the logos that these "boots" were created by Timberland. I know we all remember Timberland boots. For a spell between the sixth and eighth grades, they were incredibly popular, and if you didn't have a pair, you were, like, such a loser. Other things that were popular during this time period include flared jeans, sparkly makeup, Smackers lip gloss, and GAP sweatshirts. These Timberlands would have been in good company, says sixth grade me.

Now, I stared at these boots for a good 10 seconds trying to discern on what occasion you might wear them. Hiking? Clearly, no. With a cute dress and tights? Ummm... no. With jeans? No, also ridiculous.

I appreciate Timberlands for what they are. On guys, they can look nice with a pair of good jeans and a polo or something. But those are, of course, old school Timberlands sans two-inch heels. The boots seen above are just wrong. I will neither go timbering while wearing them nor do anything involving land, like walk. What a disgrace. Honestly, Timberland. Stop trying to make Timbaland consider changing his name. Sigh.

Until next time, majorly yours.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Banana shoes

These are mah banana shoes. Sorry for the sub-quality photo; I took it with my camera phone at work today. Yes, they are Tory Burches. BUT in my defense, I bought them on sale. And, as it turns out, they have been worth every penny.

I bought them on sale in May, right after I moved back to Birmingham. Being a (very yellow) Spring/Summer shoe, they were on the clearance rack at a local department store, and even though I thought they were kinda fugly, I was drawn to them. I wanted them, and they had my size, so I took the plunge. When my best friend saw me wear them for the first time, she was like, OMG THOSE ARE SO FUGLY. To which I responded, whatevz I like them.

I wear them to work a lot because they are super comfy and let me run around the office quickly and efficiently. And since I started working slash wearing mah banana shoes to work in July, I have gotten so many compliments on them. You would think that since I've been working there for four months now, people would be used to the banana shoes and would stop making comments about them. But no, literally every time I wear them I see someone new in the elevator or in the hallway and they say something along the lines of, "Wow, cute shoes!" In fact, just today someone in the art department said she loved the pop of color on my feet. Indeed.

This is not the normal Hautey Toddy post, I realize. It's very un-HT to post a picture of my own shoes and say why I love them. But the point is I, too, love fugly things. The shoes are almost five months old now and they have held up very well, with nary a scratch. I got them on sale. I get complimented on them every time I wear them. And they transition well through the seasons.

Dear Fugly Banana Shoez:
I luv you.

Until next time, majorly yours.

Tuesday, November 4, 2008


Because it's election day, and I know the one thing you all really care about is whether or not I'm updating this blog, I want to start by apologizing. It's been nearly two months since I posted anything. I sux. I'm sorry. I've been really busy traveling for work and contributing to the blog there, and I neglected you. I'm sorry, Hautey Toddy lovers. And haters.

You will all be glad to know that I was called to action this weekend by something particularly post-worthy (read: particularly awful). I went to the Day of the Dead festival in Birmingham, which was really cool because there were lots of shrines people had put together for loved ones they lost, and I was having a great time until I saw something that, naturally, made me wish I were... dead.

I'm afraid to post these photos because of the shock that some people may experience. You may feel sensations of nausea, confusion, or dying brainz. Just as a warning. Here they are.

(Face blocked out to protect identity and dignity. Strike that last part. Just identity.)

And, in case that doesn't satisfy you, a closeup:

Photos courtsey of Andrew.

And in case you can't read it:

You can't see it in these photos, but on each side of the Utilikilt can be found two large utilipockets, metal snaps and all. Because I can think of nothing else coherent to say, I have written an open letter to the man in the Utilikilt:

Dear Man in the Utilikilt:

I understand the function of the Utilikilt. Really, I do. A person can wear a Utilikilt in a myriad of situations. You're building a boat or a deck or something manly, but you don't want to come across as too manly in your cargo pants: Utilikilt. You need to carry a lot of heavy ish in your pockets, but you don't want your pants to hang low, nomesayin???: Utilikilt. And, apparently, you're going to an art gallery event dedicated to our long lost loved ones: Utilikilt.

But really, Man in the Utilikilt: Chacos??? Srsly? You take a perfectly respectable article of clothing like a kilt made out of heavy-duty painters' fabric and pair it with something tragic like a pair of Chacos? I'm so ashamed. You could have gone with something just a little more appropriate, like a nice pair of Merrells. Or if you really wanted to outdo yourself: Crocs. Lightweight and attractive, they would have made your Utilikilt super utilitilititlitllitarian.

Also, another suggestion. You should totally ask out that girl in the hot skinny jeans and brown boots standing in front of you. I'm sure she digs guys in kilts, espesh Utilikilts. Do it. Doooo it.


Until next time, majorly yours.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008


I bring to you a live post from the Apple store as I wait for an appointment to fix mah earbudz.

Within eyeshot: a tucked-in short-sleeved T-shirt over a long-sleeved T-shirt with jeans. A tucked in Polo shirt. Camo cargo pants. Cargo jorts. Merrells with ankle socks and said jorts. Another tucked-in Polo.

If people who buy Macs can't dress well, what hope is there for the rest of the world? I.e., those who use PCs and buy their computers and related products from Best Buy or Target or (gasp)

Unfortunately the Genius Bar applies only to geeky technology, not to fashion choices.

Until next time, majorly yours.