If there's one thing I value in life - and I'm sure this will come as a shock to many of you - it's honesty.
So in all honesty, I confess to you that my memory of many of the fashion faux pas in the Grove this past Saturday is clouded. By pure, unadulterated anger.
Honestly, Doyle Jackson, striped shirts are going to be huge for the fall, but let's be honest - they only flatter certain body types. And yours ain't it, buddy.
You thought we threw ish on the field because you made a horrendous, erroneous, disgusting call at the end of the Alabama game? Psh.
The whole student section finally woke up and realized the walking fashion travesty that is Doyle Jackson. Vom.
Moving on. Speaking of patterns, I'll be the first to admit I love a good Burberry plaid piece. Scarves, wallets, rain coats with plaid lining. Loves them all.
However, it can be overdone. And Saturday, it was. In a huge way.
I saw a guy wearing Burberry plaid pants. Every last inch of these pants was covered with the classic Burberry plaid print, and unfortunately I couldn't avert my eyes.
It was just too much. Not to mention he paired it with a blue button-up, red blazer and red polka dot bow tie.
Really? Burberry, Ralph Lauren and Lacoste have charms all their own, but when it looks like you took a bath in all of them at once, the result is not good.
I did find some Burberry boxers online that are cute. Try that next time, and wear them underneath dress clothes, bud.
I would be lying if I said I have never worn flip-flops with a dress to the Grove. I have. But always as a reactionary measure after my feet started hurting from my heels, or as a precautionary measure when carrying heavy objects like coolers (locked of course) to and from our tent.
I would never just wear flip-flops. And I would never, ever wear flip-flops that didn't match.
I'm over Rainbows. Actually I'm not over the actual shoe so much as I am over the pull they have in the so-called fashion world of Ole Miss. You people love your Rainbows, and you love wearing them - no matter what.
If you are wearing a black dress, or even a pattern dress that has a lot of black in it, don't wear brown shoes. Duh. You look like a fool.
It can ruin a perfectly cute dress. It's so Ole Miss, which I guess is charming to a certain extent, but for the most part - nah. You just look ridiculous. Wear black flip-flops or, even better, buy some cute flats.
Speaking of matching, the shoes and the dress aren't the only key players. Your handbag should match as well.
I saw a girl wearing a disgustingly bright pattern dress with lots of neon greens and pinks, which in itself was mildly offensive but not that bad, and she was carrying a red bag.
The bag was cute and the dress was okay, but together they made my eyes hurt.
What possessed her to put that bag with that dress? Only the crazy neon pattern gods know the answer to that question.
I am going out of town this weekend, so no Grove recap next week, y'all.
I know, I know. Sad face. But let's try something new -submit your fashion questions to me, and I will answer some of them in next week's column. Anything you want to know, just e-mail me and I will respond in the column.
Until then, majorly yours.