Thursday, January 24, 2008

Winter wear: Yes, it gets cold, even in Mississippi

Hello faithful readers, fans and haters. Last week was just a reintroduction to my column, and a more serious look at fashion and spring trends that are going to be big. So boring, right? Let's get back in gear.

One thing I've noticed walking around campus recently is the new standardized female uniform: baggy T-shirt, black leggings, tennis shoes (or Ugg boots if it's cold enough), a fleece zip-up jacket and the infamous shacker ponytail.

You all know what I'm talking about, men and women alike. The shacker ponytail: barely recognizable as an actual hairstyle, more of a hair non-style actually, which looks as if it was thrown up in a rush as a girl leaves a guy's house early in the morning before class.

The back of the hair is pulled up in a hairband, while the front of the hair is less standardized, ranging anywhere from slightly tussled to a hot damn mess. I hate this look. Hate it, hate it.

Sure, we're in college. Sure, I have worn leggings to class, but only after I've had a modern dance class.

The way you look still matters. I'm in no position to judge on shacking up, but the shacker look? Overz it.

Okay, folks, I know we live in Mississippi, where the winters are generally mild and short.

And now, thanks to our friend global warming, sporadic and not even guaranteed.

However, when it is cold - as in you need a coat to go outside and be comfortable - it is simply not acceptable to wear sandals of any sort.

A girl in one of my classes last week wore her Rainbows to class.

I'm sorry? I'm wearing a knee-length wool coat and a large scarf, and you are wearing flip-flops?

Um, you look ridiculous. All of you. If it is below 60 degrees outside, flip-flops are not acceptable. Also, I'm over Rainbows.

In all fairness, I have never owned a pair so I don't know how comfortable they are or any of that. I'm sure they are wonderful. As a $45 pair of flip flops, they better be.

But I'm tired of seeing them. Especially when it's 40 degrees outside.

Along the same line, guys, it's not okay to wear khaki shorts in cold weather. I can understand wearing exercise shorts around, because if you want to work out and then go to class, it's just much more convenient not to have to change clothes.

But actual shorts - as in any shorts made of anything but a nylon-poly blend - should be outlawed during the winter.

Once again, I know we live in Mississippi, but it still gets cold. And you look stupid.

I love boots. Ugg boots, riding boots, ankle boots, sweater boots - all of them are fabulous. However, I am not a fan of furry boots. Furry on the inside is OK. Super furry on the outside - not OK.

Even worse are those boots with the furry balls hanging off of them on strands of yarn. Really? Those are cat toys.

Why would you wear any article of clothing that could be misconstrued as something a cat should chew on? Stick with Uggs if your feet are cold.

Next week: more fashion blunders. I'm sure there will be plenty of them.

Until then, majorly yours.

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