Tie dye (to die)

I own a tie dye T-shirt.

That said, I must also assert that I am unilaterally opposed to tie dye. My T-shirt stays in the drawer, much like my cookies in their jar. Thanks, Ciara.

It was recently brought to my attention that some people still wear tie dye. I want to talk to these people. Who are they? Where do they live? What kind of food do they eat?

And more importantly, what inspires their donning of tie-dyed clothing?

Maybe it's the desire to look like a walking rainbow-swirl lollipop. Weezy would support that.

Or perhaps they actually think they look good. Of course they're wrong. All tie dye is bad. T-shirts, sweatshirts, pants and dresses - yes, entire dresses covered in tie dye exist - should be forbidden. If it were 1968, you would look hip and rebellious. Now you just look like a fool. Take it off.

I also saw in one of my favorite fashion magazines that full-length peasant skirts are back in.

This is really unfortunate. I actually have two in my closet, and that's pretty much where they stay, unless something flies through my window and I need something to block the draft.

Peasant skirts were super-in about three years ago. I remember wearing mine, like, all the time.

It's true: they are super comfortable, and they aren't super hideous - with the exception, of course, of tie dyed full-length peasant skirts - but they just bug me. They're so ... hippie. Apparently this is the anti-hippie column for the year.

I just don't like big, billowy clothing without a purpose. Sometimes it can be beautiful, such as evening gowns that are designed to flow around the body, but most of the time it's just tragic.

If I'm being honest, I could see myself pulling out the peasant skirts some time before this summer is over. But it will probably be in an effort to stay cool without wearing either jeans or shorts. I def wouldn't consider mine a staple in my wardrobe, and neither should you. Last minute necessity only, my friends.

Speaking of shorts, I love love high-waisted double-button front shorts for this spring / summer. Worn with a tank top or a cute baby tee and either sandal flats during the day or sandal heels at night, they look fabulous.

Of course, you have to have the right body type. Thin waist, relatively long torso. I tried a pair on and they looked pretty foolish.

It made me sad, but whatevz. I can find something else cute to wear. But I have seen some other girls rocking them and I love love it. Love.

I would like to take a moment to come out as a New Orleans virgin. I've never been. (I know, gasp!) But I'm going this weekend. I'm skurred. Wish me luck.

Until next time, majorly yours.